Diversity Digest

Equality, Diversity & Inclusion at King's College London

Tag: Gender identity (Page 1 of 2)

Posts related to gender identity

What Pride Means to Me: Taj

June 30, 2023 /

This Pride Month, we are talking to LGBTQ+ members of the King’s College London community to find out what Pride means to them. If you would like to share what Pride means to you, please email the team at diversity@kcl.ac.uk. 

Taj Donville-Outerbridge is studying for a BSc in Global Health & Social Medicine. He’s President of KCLSU’s LGBT+ Society, and recently won Role Model of the Year and Queer of the Year at the 2023 UK Queer Student awards. Taj is pansexual.

Taj at the Queer Student Awards holding two trophies featuring a big Q on each. Taj is wearing a plum velvet 2 piece outfit, a medal around his neck and stylish sunglasses.

Taj at the Queer Student Awards

Moving beyond stereotypes

I grew up in Bermuda. While being gay is technically legal there, the Caribbean can be a difficult and dangerous environment for LGBTQ+ people.

I’ve always been out and accepted by my family but I experienced pressure from within the LGBTQ+ community to conform. As a gay, Black man, you’re expected to either be straight-acting and closeted, or very feminine and creative.

I love science and am an academic at heart: I don’t fit neatly into either stereotype. It took time to accept that I could embrace all sides of myself.

Same problems, different island

Homophobia intersects with many different types of prejudice, and that’s as true in the UK as it is in the Caribbean. Media figures are often caricatures of gay Black men – RuPaul would be a good example – while Black role models in professional fields are very heteronormative.

Back home, everyone highlighted my gayness, whereas now I’m in the UK they tend to see my race. I’m often the only Black person in LGBTQ+ spaces. Everywhere I go, there’s a barrier to truly belonging.

That’s why I created ‘Tea Time with Taj’ through KCLSU. The intersectional needs of queer people of colour are often overlooked in race or sexuality-based societies, so we meet to chat, drink tea and build a sense of community.

What Pride means to me

Queer joy is wonderful but ultimately Pride is a protest. It’s important we don’t let it slide into a performative corporate gesture.

The LGBTQ+ community needs to stop fighting over small things. We need to become aware of other groups’ needs and global issues. An ex-boyfriend of mine was murdered in Grenada earlier this year, victim of a homophobic hate crime. Injustice like that should remind us how much work still needs to be done.

At King’s, I want to set an example for all students who feel marginalised, or caught in the intersections between marginalised groups. University can be difficult if you’re trans, and perhaps even more difficult if you’re Black, trans and disabled.

Pride is our opportunity to advocate for others.

Get involved & make a difference this Pride Month
  • Join our LGBTQ+ staff network Proudly King’s or attend one of their events here.
  • Check out our Pride student news article which is full of useful links here.
  • Pride Month Step-Out challenge! Join Proudly King’s & King’s Sport in a 28, 06,69 step challenge in June and July to commemorate LGBTQ+ Pride Month and summer activities whilst keeping active. Sign up on the King’s Move app from 12th June here!
Want to Learn more about Equality, Diversity & Inclusion at King’s College London?

What Pride Means to Me: Jo

June 29, 2023 /

This Pride Month, we are talking to LGBTQ+ members of the King’s College London community to find out what Pride means to them. If you would like to share what Pride means to you, please email the team at diversity@kcl.ac.uk. 

Jo Levy is Head of Mental Health & Counselling Outreach & Training at King’s. Jo is genderqueer and uses they/them pronouns. They live in London with their partner, Bev, and are supported at Pride by Flossie, their sister’s Cockapoo.  

Jo standing with Bev.

A day of joy and safety 

The significance of Pride has shifted over time. I’m showing my age here, but 30 years ago we partied against a backdrop of overt homophobia. I lost friends to HIV and hate crime was common. Section 28, the UK law which banned the ‘promotion of homosexuality’ in schools or in public institutions, was still in place. It was only revoked in 2003. 

At Pride back then, my friends and I would get together and celebrate our independence and freedom. We were as present and exuberant as possible. It was our way of sharing that awareness with the world: it’s not a crime to be yourself. 

 

Holding others’ rights in mind 

Pride in 2023 is partly about celebrating the freedoms we’ve won. Compared with 30 years ago, it’s easier to be out and open at work, with your family and in the wider community. 

But we’re also fighting a backlash. Globally, there are many countries where LGBTQ+ people are imprisoned or killed simply for being themselves. There is also a lot of dangerous rhetoric closer to home, perhaps particularly around trans rights. 

Pride is a great opportunity to look beyond our own small group. LGBTQ+ people shouldn’t hide in silos. We should be caring about one another and fighting for our rights as a collective. 

Flossie the dog is blond and fluffy, wearing a rainbow garland around its neck with a red bowtie. The dog is stood on a blue, green and yellow night sky cloth covered in stars.

Improving accessibility for LGBTQ+ students 

I’ve worked for King’s Counselling & Mental Health Service for nine years. We’ve always offered support to any student who’s struggling, but I think we’ve improved the way we promote our services to LGBTQ+ students in recent times. 

KCLSU has led the way in promoting inclusivity. Simple measures such as sharing pronouns on e-signatures and at the start of meetings help create a culture of allyship.  

Statistically, LGBTQ+ young people experience worse mental health than their peers, so we’re taking steps to cater for their needs. We partnered with Togetherall, the online counselling provider, to help support those who aren’t comfortable meeting face-to-face. We’ve also just launched Queer Identities, a therapeutic group for queer and questioning students. 

There’s always more that can be done. My hope is that by being out and open within the counselling service, I can help make it a more inclusive space for others. 

Get involved & make a difference this Pride Month
  • Join our LGBTQ+ staff network Proudly King’s or attend one of their events here.
  • Check out our Pride student news article which is full of useful links here.
  • Pride Month Step-Out challenge! Join Proudly King’s & King’s Sport in a 28, 06,69 step challenge in June and July to commemorate LGBTQ+ Pride Month and summer activities whilst keeping active. Sign up on the King’s Move app from 12th June here!
Want to Learn more about Equality, Diversity & Inclusion at King’s College London?

Trans Day of Remembrance 2022

November 16, 2022 /

Sunday 20th November is Transgender Day of Remembrance. Equality, Diversity & Inclusion Consultant (lead for LGBTQ+ Inclusion), Adam Perry, explores the statistics and significance of this day. 

CONTENT NOTE: Transphobia, Violence and Murder, Discrimination, Sexual Violence

Transgender day of remembrance will be taking place on Sunday 20th November. This is an international day which takes place to remember and honour trans and non-binary people who have been murdered because of transphobic violence and hate crime. The day originally started in 1999 by trans advocate Gwendolyn Ann Smith as a vigil to honour Rita Hester, a trans woman who was killed in 1998.

Violence directed at trans and non-binary people for exercising their basic right to exist within society is sadly not uncommon. Transrespect versus Transphobia  run a Murder Monitoring Project which started in April 2009 as a cooperation between Transgender Europe (TGEU) and the academic online magazine Liminalis – A Journal for Sex/Gender Emancipation and Resistance. Information from the Murder Monitoring Project Name list estimates that between October 2021 and September 2022, 327 trans and non-binary people have been murdered globally. Sadly, these numbers include a UK citizen, with a 28-year-old being fatally stabbed in Downpatrick. The data is based on internet reports and activist reported data, as it is challenging to obtain accurate numbers. The actual number is likely much higher.

It is important to acknowledge that the trans and non-binary community is not a homogenous group. It is vital to use an intersectional lens to understand transphobia and trans violence. Of the 327 people who tragically lost their lives to transphobia:

  • 95% were trans women or trans feminine people;
  • Where occupation was known, 50% were sex workers;
  • 65% of the reported murders were Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic*;

*The Trans Murder Monitoring Project uses the term ‘racialised people’ to refer to those that have been negatively racialised or racialised as ‘other’, within King’s and the UK, we would use Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic, although we understand that there isn’t one ‘perfect’ term.

Whilst the focus of Transgender day of Remembrance is on honouring those who are no longer with us, it would be remiss to not acknowledge that murder is just one of the risks of harm faced by trans and non-binary people. At current, media and political discourse is polarised and at times, dehumanising. This can exacerbate the already bleak statistics on transphobia. In the UK, the Galop Hate Crime Report  found that 29% of trans people had been subject to physical violence, whilst 17% had experienced sexual violence. A 2018 Stonewall report into LGBTQ+ students experiences in universities found that 7% cent of trans students were physically attacked by another student or a member of university staff because of being trans and 39% of trans students would not feel comfortable to report this to university staff. The alarming reality is that transphobia (and the harm caused by this) is a feature of our society, and likely exists within our university community.

Show Your Support:

King’s is committed to ensuring trans staff and students are part of a supportive and inclusive work/study environment, and do not face discrimination on the grounds of their gender identity. We are collectively responsible for creating and maintaining a safe and inclusive community. There are several ways in which you can show your support:

  • KCLSU and the Chaplaincy team are holding a vigil Friday 18th November; 5.30- 8pm at Kings College Chapel, Strand Building, details of which are here.
  • Check in with your trans and non-binary students and colleagues. Transgender Day of Remembrance can be an emotionally challenging day for many members of the community.
  • Educate yourself on trans identities and transphobia:
    King’s Trans Matters Toolkit is a good starting point with resources to help managers learn how best to support trans and non-binary staff and information for students and staff on transitioning at King’s.
  • Attend KCLSU Trans Awareness Week festival events.
  • Register your interest in a Trans Matters Training session for your department/faculty by emailing diversity@kcl.ac.uk.

It is important to look after your wellbeing. Transgender Day of Remembrance can be emotive. If you find yourself grappling with unexpected feelings or distress, please do contact the King’s Counselling and Wellbeing Service or the LGBT Switchboard which is available from 10am-12am every day. 

Want to Learn more about Equality, Diversity & Inclusion at King’s College London?

 

 

International Women’s Day – Get Involved

March 2, 2022 /

Sarah Guerra, Director of Equality, Diversity & Inclusion at King’s College London shares ways of getting involved in IWD 2022 and reflects on the underrepresentation of men in the EDI field. 

Once again it is International Women’s Day on the 8th March. I will miss this year’s festivities as I will be enjoying a much needed and long-awaited break in the US of A!

Portrait of Sarah Guerra

Sarah Guerra, Director of Equality, Diversity & Inclusion at King’s College London.

Their website tell us International Women’s Day is powered by the collective efforts of all. Collective action and shared ownership for driving gender parity is what makes International Women’s Day impactful.

They quote Gloria Steinem:

“The story of women’s struggle for equality belongs to no single feminist nor to any one organisation but to the collective efforts of all who care about human rights.” – Gloria Steinem.

This year we are asked to imagine a gender equal world. A world free of bias, stereotypes and discrimination. A world that’s diverse, equitable, and inclusive. A world where difference is valued and celebrated. Together we can forge women’s equality. Collectively we can all #BreakTheBias.

At King’s we have a variety of activity happening. Elevate, in collaboration with the Equality, Diversity and Inclusion Team are hosting an online event on Tuesday 8th March 12:00-13:00 focusing on the theme of this year’s International Women’s Day – #BreakTheBias.

Add your visions of a more equal world to our International Women’s Day Padlet. Ideas from the King’s community will form the inspiration for a poem which will be recited at the event by recent King’s graduate and poet, Karen Ng.

We will also hear from Aleida Borges, Research Associate at the Global Institute for Women’s Leadership, about the institute’s work, as well as her research on women’s grassroots leadership.

You can also unleash your creative side at an International Women’s Day themed Poetry Lunch & Do Session on Wednesday 2nd March, 14.00 – 15.30. Find out more information and register for attendance in person or online.

I have really enjoyed reading the Padlet and look forward to the poem. I also find my thoughts turn to address something that has been on my mind for many years. Something that President & Principal, Professor Shitij Kapur noticed when he arrived at King’s. In short

Where are the men?

On his arrival we organised several listening exercises for him to hear and learn about equality diversity and inclusion efforts and issues across the University.

One with the EDI team. A team that is diverse compared to many at King’s in terms of gender identity, sexual orientation, race and religion – but is also predominantly cis women.

One for those who hold EDI champion positions across the university i.e., chairs of EDI committees, Vice Deans etc. Again, a reasonably diverse set of people but again the vast majority women.

Finally, one with our staff network chairs – a slightly more gender balanced group but still predominantly female.

Why is this?

It is something I notice in so many EDI arenas.

I am a member of the REF equality, diversity and inclusion advisory panel – vast majority women. Similarly, our internal REF EDAP was all female. This is in stark contrast to the wider REF governance bodies internally.

In truth pretty much every EDI event I ever go to is vastly majority female and has a much greater representation of black, asian, minority ethnic, queer and disabled people than in my regular everyday workplace.

How do we change this?  If (and I paraphrase Gloria here) the story of the struggle for equality belongs to no single equality activist nor to any one organisation but to the collective efforts of all who care about human rights. If we want to get to that gender equal world, a world free of bias, stereotypes and discrimination. A world that’s diverse, equitable, and inclusive. A world where difference is valued and celebrated.  How do we make the ’together’ part so we can forge women’s equality that includes all people – and particularly the group that is often missing and yet still holds most the world’s power – men?

I am not going to do a long spiel.  My International Women’s Day call/plea to action is to ask all who read this to give me some ideas and thoughts as to how to get men into the room when we talk EDI.

Ace and Agender – Turning Discomfort into Confidence

July 12, 2021 /

Ali Gibson (any/all pronouns) is the current Vice President Education (Health) at King’s College London, and a third-year medical student as of September. Ali’s blog talks about experiences growing up and the euphoria of finding a gender identity.

I was 16 when I first found and started using the label ‘Asexual’ to describe me, after at least two years of feeling different. Whilst my friends entered and experimented with sexual relationships, my teenage years came and went without sexual feelings and as you do, you put it down to something else; I was yet to hit puberty, or to meet the right person, when I would be magically fixed and all about the sex. It never materialised, and so I ended up internet searching ‘no sexual attraction’ and found Asexuality. Labels can be contentious but for me, finding that there was a group of people who didn’t experience sexual attractions or desires in varying forms was eye-opening. It didn’t cause a revelation of something I wasn’t already, instead it just made sense and came with a community who had all been (at least similar) boats. 

The one thing I neglected confronting as a teenager was my gender. It would be wrong to look back now and not think I have probably questioned my gender for about the same length of time as my sexuality. It’s hard to explain what it feels like as all our references come from within the binary society we live in, but I never felt like a ‘girl’, and I never felt like a ‘boy’. Nor did I really aspire to either perception I had of what that meant. As I grew up I was proud of the fact I didn’t own any make-up, skirts or dresses, things I considered feminine, and I spent most of my childhood scraping my knees on scooters, bikes and rollerblades. I was a ‘tomboy’, and proud. But that label fades and I went through puberty to find myself confronted with being a woman, with breasts and periods and a reproductive health condition to boot. I have long hated my tight curly hair, despite much adoration from others, shaving it off at 17 under the guise of raising money (which I did do, so not all selfish). I’ve had an unnecessary complex around being able to wear a baseball cap and not look like cartoon character Crystal Tips, which has bothered me for seemingly no reason. 

At the end of January just past, having bought a baseball cap on sale, I twisted my short but significant curls up onto the back of my head and (with great skill) put on the cap. I looked at myself in the mirror and for the first time in an immeasurable amount of time saw someone who looked like me, who looked like I want to. Full of emotion I laughed in surprise at myself and this person I saw in front of me. It followed weeks of wondering if I should change my label; I was four months into my time with KCLSU in a job where there’s a short time to get things done, nevermind having to reintroduce yourself. And I knew I wasn’t unhappy being a cisgender woman (someone born biologically a woman who also identifies as a woman) – but could I be happier and more comfortable as someone non-binary? 

Ali, KCLSU Vice-President Education (Health) and soon to be third-year medical student

I took time off at the beginning of March and came back using my new name, Ali – a name I used online which had been wholly accepted by the people I met there and felt like a name and a person I had created for myself. This was the new me, the me that university had bloomed, the me that felt I had a place. I am so thankful to all of my colleagues across KCLSU and King’s who have wholeheartedly accepted my name change, some astute colleagues even picking up on it before I formally let people know. If I had to stick a pin in it, I’d say my gender is ‘Agender’ – I have none, I just don’t feel it, and I’ll keep my hair short and wear t-shirts with television references and baseball caps as long as it feels good. Where in the past I was uncomfortable with someone drawing attention to my non-femininity (bullies would jeeringly ask me, a complete stranger, whether I was male or female, a common sentiment used by transphobic people), I now actively don’t mind what pronouns someone uses for me, and find it quite liberating when someone’s assumption differs from my biological sex.

It’s taken me five, maybe seven years to get here, but meeting people who are transgender, non-binary and gender diverse has shown me the alternative, and is one of those things I wish 14-year-old me had been exposed to. Because it’s only when we break out of the binary, and share with our young people the vibrancy and inclusivity the LGBTQ+ community has to offer, that we can turn discomfort into confidence. 

Ali Gibson (any/all pronouns) is the current Vice President Education (Health) at King’s College London, and a third-year medical student as of September. Ali’s blog talks about experiences growing up and the euphoria of finding a gender identity.

LGBTQ+ Inclusion and the Church

February 21, 2020 /

For LGBTQ+ History Month, EDI Project Officer, Jemma Adams, pens a blog about her experience of the church and its attitudes towards LGBTQ+ lives.

My personal faith and belief meanders sometimes away, sometimes alongside, the mainstream Christian church, but what I do believe is that Christian scripture, tradition and experience reveals a God who transcends gender and sexuality, a God who did not create, nor do I believe they would condone, the heteronormativity that has come to consume much of the church. As a theologian I am fully convinced that the church can only be authentic to the message of Jesus Christ and its own scripture if LGBT+ people are fully included and indeed central to the life of the church. Others would disagree with me, but I do not want to give them space and use my words here to argue against them (there are also many theologians and writers who have done this far better than I ever could here). Instead I want to reflect on the experience on the ground for individuals and churches and offer a glimpse into what the full inclusion of LGBT+ people in the church might look like.

Whilst the Church of England and other denominations continue to tie themselves up in knots with statements and ‘conversations’ about sex, sexuality, gender and marriage, LGBT+ Christians have to endure the heartache and hurt of statements made about them, demeaning their relationships, identity and the validity of their very existence in the eyes of the church. But whilst this goes on in the governance and leadership of the Church of England there are church communities who are flying the pride flag from their spires (sometimes literally, sometimes metaphorically), who are actively campaigning for equal marriage and ensuring LGBT+ people are at the centre of their leadership and expression.

In my experience, however, most churches sit somewhere in the middle, often tolerant but not active or explicit in their LGBT+ inclusion. Such churches often want to be welcoming and inclusive, but my message to them is that tolerance and silence are just not enough. Such an approach requires people to be neutral, to mute themselves and hide their identity. That is not equality and inclusion and nor do I believe it reflects the fundamental Christian principle that we are made in the image of God. If that is true, and humans reflect the person of God, then ‘when anyone is invisible, aspects of God, too, are also rendered invisible’.[1] God is beyond sexuality and gender, yet paradoxically contains all within, just as God is both transcendent and embodied (in the person of Jesus).

If a church community wants to be fully inclusive they must be explicit about being welcoming to LGBT+ people and they must follow this through in every aspect of church life and worship. In other words, they must work to challenge the heteronormativity and the patriarchal structures that can be present, and this must be done by the whole congregation and not just left to LGBT+ individuals. They must think about the language and imagery they use about God; LGBT+ dating and relationships need to be talked about just as straight relationships are; different types of families should be remembered in prayer and sermons and discussion should include references to LGBT+ lives as much as straight or cis lives.

My hope is that the church becomes a place of equal marriage, where all loving and committed relationships are respected and supported and where LGBT+ lives are recognised in the rites and symbols of the church. I long to see a church where people are not othered or excluded no matter what their gender, sexuality, (dis)ability, ethnicity, neurodiversity or cultural expression. My confidence in that vision often wavers, but the faith and strength of those I know in the church actively working to bring about this vision gives me hope, and I think we’ll get there… eventually.

  • This blog was inspired and influenced by Siobhan Garrigan (2009) Queer Worship, Theology & Sexuality, 15:2, 211-230.
  • If you’re interested in the theology of sexuality and gender, I recommend Adrian Thatcher, God, Sex and Gender: An Introduction (Wiley-Blackwell, 2011).
  • If you’re interested in finding an LGBTQ+ inclusive church, have a look at this list provided by the King’s Chaplaincy team – LGBT Churches in London

[1] Janet R. Watson, Feminist Liturgy: Its Tasks and Principles (The Liturgical Press, 2000), p. 33.

LGBTQ+ History Month: And the Category is? Live: Work: Learn

February 4, 2020 /

When I first started on the path of becoming an EDI professional, I concentrated on learning most about the areas outside my lived experience – I’ve written extensively on my experience as a woman of colour from a working-class background, and my life as a working partner and parent. My understanding of my own sexual orientation is continually developing, and I am a firm Q (of LGBTQ+) for questioning. Over the years I have continued to educate myself and learn about the lives and experiences of others to try and understand myself, as well as to be the good ally I aspire to be and to do my job effectively.

I was overjoyed recently to discover Pose which, as Alex Prestage said to me, is a dramatized version of the excellent documentary, Paris Is Burning, exploring the guts and glamour of New York’s ballroom scene in the late 80s and the exclusion from mainstream culture and society experienced by gay and trans people.

Notice what it’s all about. Being able to fit into the straight, white world and embody the American dream. We don’t have access to that dream, and it’s not because of ability, trust me. – Blanca Evangelista 

I must confess, I didn’t know about the ‘ballroom’ scene until very recently and I have to thank my team for making the introduction. The ballroom scene draws a largely gay, mostly black and Latinx, crowd to watch mainly, though not exclusively, trans performers competing for trophies by performing (“walking”) in certain ‘categories’. Paris Is Burning tells the story behind Madonna’s 1990 single Vogue and clearly lays the foundation for the enormously popular RuPaul’s Drag Race. This was one of the main revelations for me. These are now part of my everyday life and cultural bank yet I had no idea where they came from or what their original meanings were.

With sharp dialogue, exquisite music, an abundance of dancing and sex, all heavily costumed and glittered, Pose is simultaneously riven with racism, sexism and transphobia. I watched with sadness and disbelief as many of its characters, all gay and trans people of colour, are rejected by their biological families and find solace in a community or chosen families and spaces where they are able to express themselves freely.

People came because they needed a place of comfort, they needed a family, they needed a house mother. – Pray Tell.

The AIDS crisis is a strong motif throughout the show, and explores how misinformation and stigma exacerbate marginalisation and the impact this has on LGBTQ+ people and communities.

For me it was very much a story of family and friendship. As I tweeted afterwards:

I felt I had become close personal friends of each of the characters and now can’t believe I won’t be seeing them every day.
(For more follow me @equalitywarrior)

Pose shows us that what might to some seem frivolous or ridiculous can serve as a source of hope, comfort and nurturing.

You have to shine so bright out there that they can’t deny you – Blanca Evangelista

One of the things I loved, and would like to see more of, is the presentation of trans and gender diverse people not as comedic, pantomime characters, but as rounded, everyday human beings. While much of the public discourse on trans and gender diverse people seems transfixed on their bodies, Pose lets us into these characters’ hearts, minds and souls. The show gives us insights into how they feel about themselves. I realised how little I was thinking about their bodies at all. Pose has the largest transgender cast of any commercial, scripted TV show. The show sends a message of love and of understanding and education about lives that many do not understand and so choose to reject.

Whilst it would be silly to claim that watching a couple of TV shows can fully inform me about the lived experience of trans and gender diverse people, it does demonstrate that there are multiple ways to learn. Well-made TV programmes can give you an insight into the lives of others and we all, in my view, have a duty to educate ourselves. I also believe if more people could watch a programme like Pose with an open mind and an open heart, we might all be more willing and able to tackle trans and homophobia.

 

 

LGBTQ+ History Month: WTF is gender? Coz I have no idea.

February 4, 2020 /

For LGBTQ+ History Month, EDI Consultant and Proudly King’s Committee member, India Jordan, writes about their experience of gender – beyond, and in-between binaries. 

(EDIT) This blog was written in 2020 when India was in an earlier stage of their ‘gender journey’, so keep an eye out for possible updates on this! 

Have a think about gender, do you really know what it is?

I’m not really going try to answer the question, but give you an idea of my lived experience and what goes through my mind on a daily basis.

One of the most annoying things in the world for me is being called ‘madam’, ‘miss’ or ‘lady’, or when I’m with friends or my partner, being called ‘girls’ as a collective. It ignites some sort of deep anger and discomfort that I can’t really explain. It’s the same as when some men open doors for me and say ‘after you’ just because they perceive me to be female. It feels so inherently counter to my sense of self and has never felt right. It’s the fact that someone has made an assumption about me and is interacting with who they think I am, whether that’s ‘madam’, ‘miss’ or ‘lady’. And in this moment, I lose the ability to exist in the way I see myself.

That said, if someone asked how I do see myself I would probably say ‘I don’t know”.

I have no idea what gender is or what gender means. I know it is fluid and ever-changing. It feels easier for me to say what I think I am not: I’m not male, I was a female-assigned a birth (AFAB) but I don’t really identify as a female.

What I do know, or what I feel is that I exist in this neutral space where I don’t really see myself fitting into an either/or man/woman binary. I guess that would mean I fit within the very broad spectrum of ‘non-binary’. It’s taken me a while figure out and included a lot of self reflection and understanding to get to this point (and I’d say I was probably on the start of this journey rather than the end).

For a couple of years now this ‘neutral’ identity has very much existed at the forefront of how I see myself, however I’ve been afraid to take up space asking others to see/treat/identify me in the same way. This was up until very recently, where back in December I made a public Instagram post asking people to refer to me with they/them pronouns or simply by my name. This came about after months of deliberating, conversations with friends, and googling desperate questions like ‘who am I?’ ‘what is gender?’ ‘am I non-binary?’ ‘do we even exist anyway???’.

Outside of my life at King’s, I am a DJ and music producer. This means I have public social media pages, and people write about me sometimes. So, this Instagram post came about around the time I was receiving more press/publicity (as an artist) than usual due to featuring on a  mix series podcast, a couple of gigs and a single release. I knew I had to say something because every single time I read ‘she’/’her’ in the write-up’s, I immediately disassociated and didn’t feel like they were talking about me. It felt super jarring. Publishing the post felt terrifying; I was exposing myself, being vulnerable and also publicly declaring that I should take up space and demanding that others respond to this request. It felt very unnatural but I know now that it was really really necessary.

Since then, I’ve requested people at work refer to me as they/them. I guess you could take this blog as a formal coming out post to King’s. A simple changing of pronouns, whilst some may perceive this as small, feels like an absolutely massive thing for me. It means I don’t get a pang of anxiety/gender crisis every time someone calls me ‘she/her’.

Whilst I am nowehere  near feeling sure about what my gender is (or what gender is at all), it really does help alleviate that weight and constant confusion I carry around with me daily.

I’ve found reading, listening to podcasts and joining online communities really helpful in this gender journey so far. Here’s a couple that I recommend:

Life Isn’t Binary: On Being Both, Beyond, and In-Between – MJ Barker & Alex Iantaffi

Unicorn: The Memoir of a Muslim Drag Queen, Amrou Al-Kadhi

NB – My Non-binary Life (Podcast), Amrou Al-Kadhi & Caitlin Benedict

This image:

Becoming a better ally

July 1, 2019 /

In anticipation for London Pride this weekend, King’s Chaplain, Tim Ditchfield, has penned a blog reflecting on his experience at the Stonewall Open Trans Ally Programme.. 

In recent years I have met several trans people and have heard their stories of challenges and struggle, a desire to be fully themselves and a pressure to deny themselves. And painful stories of being victimised and on the receiving end of abuse and aggression.

As someone who identifies as a straight cis Christian man (I guess you’d expect the Christian bit from the College Chaplain!) I am aware of two key things. Firstly, that God is a God of love who welcomes all people and has a special concern for those who are treated badly by other people, often those on the margins; and secondly that the church has, sadly, failed to live up to this standard in so many ways, but especially in relation to LGBTQ+ people.

I have also realised how I have sat on the fence about this. Recognising a desire for equality but doing little about it as it doesn’t affect me personally. Which is why over the past year I have started to be more proactive. I went to the Stonewall Workplace conference in April which was inspirational seeing so many impressive people speaking. And so many of the speakers identified as people of faith.

Ruth Hunt, the amazing CEO of Stonewall, spoke of her faith. Also people like Nour Shaker, the Trans Advisor for Vodaphone UK, and Shaan Knan, a Liberal Jewish trans man, who is working on a PhD exploring the intersection of trans and faith. All of these people and many others during the day spoke of their faith in a positive way and how it has shaped and encouraged them to be who they are.

As a result of this, I went on the Stonewall OPEN Trans Allies Programme two weeks ago. This was a day-long programme described as follows:

The Stonewall Trans Allies Programme is for individuals at all levels in an organisation. It is designed to empower individuals to actively create more trans-inclusive workplaces and communities. It’s designed to give participants a deeper understanding of the impact of common transphobic narratives on the trans community, and help participants create a clear action plan to actively tackle them, and to give participants access to a network of other trans allies to help create positive change.

The starting point for the day grew out of this statement of intent: though Stonewall encourages an open and honest environment, debating people’s identities is not acceptable. Trans women are women, trans men are men, and non-binary people exist. All identities are valid.

It was a useful day as we explored terminology, identity & privilege as well as the current legal position. It was painful to hear people’s stories of abuse and the reality of transphobia. It was challenging to work through what we as allies can do to respond proactively to this.

We had to leave with an action plan: what we’d do immediately, within a month and within a year. My immediate one was to use my pronouns in emails and on name labels at events, which I’m now doing. (I found this blog really helpful when asking why I should do this.)

Check.

Within a month, I planned to write a blog post about the day. Here it is.

Check.

Within a year I want to ensure the chaplaincy is a place where trans people feel fully welcome and included, and also a place where we are encouraging all people to explore the intersections of trans and faith in a safe environment.

Work in progress.

 

Ain’t I A Woman – Poppy Kirby-Green on the Boundaries of Womanhood

March 22, 2018 /

For the year the 100-year anniversary of partial suffrage in UK, we are running a series of blog posts inspired by Sojourner Truth and her most famous speech “Ain’t I a Woman? “delivered in 1851 was a powerful rebuke to many anti-feminist arguments of the day. It became, and continues to serve, as a classic expression of women’s rights and we would like to take this opportunity to encourage all members of the King’s community to think critically about the media representation of women and the additional struggles faced by those who do not always share the same spotlight – BME, LGBT+, migrant, refugee and disabled women.

We are grateful to Poppy Kirby-Green for contributing to our Women’s History Month blog series. 

Sojourner Truth’s ‘Ain’t I A Woman’ speech was a fundamental challenge to the narrow definitions of ‘woman’ that white men had created. As an African American woman her womanhood was questioned and marginalised, an experience that trans women of all backgrounds can empathise with – that is why on this International Women’s day I think that it is key that we collectively challenge those who would seek to police the boundaries of womanhood using an outdated and essentialist patriarchal binary.

Truth noted her physical strength was equal to any man’s, and yet she still experienced deeply misogynist and racist violence and oppression, showing that ultimately it is not physical attributes that determine who we are, but how we move through the world and are treated. The global oppression of trans women demonstrates this – we may not be biologically identical to cis women, yet we are still subject to physical and sexual violence, harassment, objectification and exploitation by the sex trade as well as being suffocated by conventional beauty norms. Trans women of colour globally face additional barriers to transphobia, and misogyny, including racism and in many cases poverty, yet their voices and experiences are rarely involved in (often hostile) cultural and political discourse around trans people.

The oppression that trans women face is shared with women across the world, yet painfully and shamefully there are many who would seek to deny us our womanhood. By insisting that trans women are in fact ‘men’, transphobes render our suffering under patriarchy as invisible, and deny our political and social experiences as women. Trans men are regularly excluded from conversations around trans rights, which tend to myopically focus on the ‘threat’ of trans women who are unable to adequately conform to the gender binary. With cruel irony, trans women seeking refuge from patriarchy in women-only spaces are cast as deviants and predators, a trope that has been used against queer people for millennia. The few trans women that do get represented often have to meet cisnormative beauty standards and conform to conventional femininity in order to be seen as valid in their womanhood. Less privileged trans women whose existence challenges the gender binary, whether by choice or circumstance are typically erased, or depicted as somehow failing womanhood.

On International Women’s Day, I hope that all of us, whether male, female or non-binary can take something from Sojourner’s Truth words all those years ago, that womanhood should not be an exclusive member’s club with a narrow set of criteria, that needs gatekeeping, but a welcoming sisterhood in which the most marginalised women have a voice.

 

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