By Nick Burgess, Year 3 BSc student.
Historical Geographer David Livingstone in his 1992 classic “The Geographical Tradition” wrote of Geography as a contested discipline. On the 24th May 2016, Livingstone’s historical contestation was brought to life through a glorious encounter between geographies biggest rivals, BA and BSc. With England preparing for the European championships, lecturers jetting off to European conferences, third year students (one PhD student and a particularly young looking lecturer) had undergone weeks of fartlek training in Hyde and Holland Park. Blessed with a break in the rain, students of third year BA and BSc took to the field of Wormwood Scrubs in a quest to get their hands on the globally renowned ‘Hulme Cup’, a prize worth more than a fully funded NERC or ESRC grant, rumoured to lead to geographical immortality at King’s. Whilst this contest undoubtedly sought to provide bragging rights for one of the cohorts, the event was organised in aid of the National Autistic Society, raising an incredible £160 over 90 minutes.
Dr Thomas Smith, lecturer and qualified referee officiated the event, and warned players that any unsporting behaviour could land time in the nearby prison. With crowds filling the stands, players and spectators joined in solidarity for a minute’s silence paying tribute to the late Doreen Massey, a pioneer of contemporary geographical thought and practice. Following the minutes pause, Smith blew his whistle, which was met with an immense roar from the players and spectators (particularly Nick Drake). BSc sporting a delightful purple strip and BA in a leftist red jersey, the game got off to a flying start. ‘Flows’ of passes into ‘space’ left players with a lot of ‘time’ on the ball. It was BA who took an early lead and got the ‘Ball’ rolling, with King’s XI rugby star Nick Balls ‘quantitatively turning’ the BSc back line of Crossley and Kemp to slot a toe poke past Blair, which was greeted with euphoria by BA manager Dr Andrew Brooks and his coaching assistant Dr Alex Loftus.
BSc suffered a second early set back, just as unlucky as getting a 69 in an assignment. BSc’s star player, Katie Chandler of KCL’s woman’s XI suffered an injury as rugby player Titus Ogbonnaya of BA put in a challenge of immense risk, worthy of studying in the MA/MSc: Risk Analysis. With BSc down to one substitute, manager Nick Drake ‘remotely sensed’ his players were feeling deflated like a desert pan. Yet mirroring Diego Simeone, Drake was able to lift his players and remove their heads from the sand. With the BA back four contemplating whether we should leave or remain in the EU, BSc captain Nick Burgess slotted striker Raphael Harris with a through ball. Harris outside the box was able to beautifully place the ball into the bottom corner past BA skipper Beniamino Still. With an enthralling first half the score was 1-1 at half time as the oranges were passed around.
Miraculously, Dr James Millington, KCL undergraduate, KCL post-graduate, KCL lecturer and former KCL XI right bank was able to “dust off the boots” (Millington, 2016) to make a much-needed appearance for a BSc side low on numbers. BA were now playing downslope with the wind, yet the wind speed was unknown as Dr Andreas Baas was not present to take a reading with his anemometer. As we all know the importance of slope in driving the energy of a river, it certainly drove the power of the team BA in the second half. Under pressure, a mix up in the BSc six-yard box with the ball caught in gale force winds resulted in the ball crossing the line courtesy of cheeky touch from Dan Macdonnell. 2-1 BA.
Within the space of 10 minutes, another goal from BA, with Balls getting himself on the score sheet once more, although rumour has it that it may have come off of his hand (it’s football not rugby Nick)… Only Balls can answer this question, nevertheless the goal was given. Subs rolled on and off for BA with some excellent tactical moves from captain Still. A solid defence, particularly Tom Morris at left back and Dan Salkey at centre back for BA kept the BSc attack of Millington, Mills, Harris and Burgess at bay. However, with continuous screams of “Istanbul” from Burgess, BSc were able to pull one back through Bryn Saunders with a semi-bicycle kick. I hope Saunders remembered to return his Boris Bike after the match. 3-2 game on with penalties in the back of every players’ mind.
With 15 minutes left, it became obvious that fitness is a missing component of the 3rd year module programme as students and lecturers began to tire and wobble. Millington certainly had his dancing shoes on at the edge of the BA box and was brought down by a rather rash tackle from Salkey (perhaps revenge for a second year PGI mark? Who knows), yet the Ref claimed it fair to the disgust of James ‘Vardy’ Millington. Another claim for a penalty was denied as the ball struck the HUGE arms of Titus. Building upon his globally renowned book “Why we disagree about climate change”, Professor Hulme is currently writing a piece on behalf of BSc titled “Why we disagree about Tom Smith’s refereeing decisions” due for release in late 2016. With one hand on the Hulme Cup, in the dying minutes BA managed to cement victory with a goal from Tom ‘Canadian’ Church from another well-planned counter attack.
Smith blew at 90 minutes with a final result of 4-2 to BA, well-deserved victors. A truly magnificent match however one player stood out from the rest. Captains Burgess and Still voted without hesitation for the player of the match – Tom Morris – who according to Still “put in an absolute shift” and “did jobs”. Following presentation of the Hulme Cup and a generous bottle of Bollinger by Professor Hulme, BA righteously gloated all the way to the Castle Pub in North Acton and will do so until el Geografico is contested once again next May by the current second year students.
The day was a truly special occasion and raised an incredible £160 for the National Autistic Society, with funds allocated to BSc Geographer Katie Chandler who bravely ran 10k on the following Monday even with her injury! Beniamino Still and myself would like to thank the department for allowing such a memorable event to take place. Thank you to players for putting on a brave show! And to the spectators who trudged all the way to East Acton.
If anyone would like to make any further donations to the NAS, please see the website
Photos of the day courtesy of James Morris